I'd be this pissed if I worked in the same athletic department as Belein and Rodriguez, too

It appears that Michigan women's basketball coach Kevin Borseth is slightly peeved about something. Here he claims it's about poor officiating and rebounding - but we at FKP think some of his coworkers might be getting to him.

SAVE THE COUCH

We've got some really bad news to report. We Must Ignite This Couch, by far the best internet resource for all things West Virginia, has outgrown its host's bandwidth. A detailed explanation is available here, on their Webmaster's site.

To temporarily keep the site up and running, the guys at WMITC have signed up for a dedicated server. One problem: Jude and maadman are just two guys like you and me, with jobs and families and very little spare change - and the new server costs ten times as much as their old one. Right now, they've got enough money to keep the site going for two months.

The only permanent solution right now is to buy a new server and run the site independently - completely by themselves. Servers tend to cost quite a bit of coin, however, and right now they just don't have the resources to do that. This is where they're asking for the help of Mountaineer nation - they're taking paypal donations at the above link. Donate some cash to help em' out. There's no other site on the net that's as dedicated to WVU and the West Virginia community as the couch is, and they really deserve all the help they can get.

Thanks a lot guys - land et's goooooo Mountaineers.

Shuttle Runs, 40 Yard Dashes, and Vertical Jump. (Suspensions Sold Seperately).

Sure, when I think of West Virginia's football prowess in the NFL, I think of the ringleader of "The Greatest Show on Turf," Marc Bulger. I also think of Jerry Porter, whom an associate of mine once cornered at The Backdoor for diminishing Tim Brown's fantasy value (Porter won the argument). Who could forget Sam Huff's rise to professional football stardom, which I heard may have been a big deal?

Well, for every alumnus quarterback winning a Super Bowl because of the opposing team's special teams miscues and his team's defensive coordinator taping the K-Gun, there's THOSE GUYS. No, not these guys, THOSE GUYS. It's the kicking tandem of Todd Sauerbrun and Mike Vanderjagt. It's the punter with the roid rage and the "idiot kicker" who called out the smartest baller in foot.

Oh yea, then there's the two man wrecking crew. It ruined MY national championship season of 2004 and they're plauging the NFL with great football, like that's a crime. But what is a crime is numerous arrests by the authorities and suspensions by the law that is Goddell. For every Chris Henry and Pac-Man Jones there seems to be, I don't know, probably 75% of the league that doesn't get in trouble.

These issues withstanding, we embark on a new age of Mountaineer Football. One I hope not only includes the current on the field prowess that our current teams are capable of, but our alumni making our university and the state of West Virginia proud. Yes, a large burden for you Mr. Steve Slaton, Mr. Johnny Dingle, Mr. Darius Reynaud, and Mr. Owen Schmitt.

Sorry about that, folks...

FKP just wants to apologize for not posting the livecap of last night's DePaul game. Blogspot was down throughout the evening, and we just couldn't post updates. Now we know how Zack Randolph feels.




Again, sorry about that. Look for a livecap for the Pitt and UConn games for sure.

Seriously, this one actually is a must-win

Alright, assheads. As you may or may not know, tonight we've got DePaul in Chicago. This is one of two road games left for WVU, and an absolute must-win if we want a chance in hell at getting into the tournament. So here's my list of things we neeeeeed to do to grab a key road win.

1. Shoot the J...Shoot itttttttt.
We've got to step up and start making 3's (Alex Ruoff, this means you). At Villanova, we shot 10% from beyond the arc...And we all know how that turned out. Seriously. 10%. If we had just made four more three-pointers - putting us at still under 33% - we could have had 12 more points and possibly a shot at a W. What's that you say? We lost by over 20? Well, that brings us to...

2. For the love of god...make some free throws.
We've gotten better at this, but not by much. The team average is a pretty weak 67%, which in this league isn't going to pay the bills. We made 12 out of 20 free throws at Villanova...if we had just made three more to put us at 75%, that would have put us that much closer to a noish road victory.

3. Put the ball through the hoop.
Like, forserious. For some reason we just can't find the bucket on the road...At Villanova, Joe Alexander made five field goals. DeShaun Butler made three. Darris Nichols went 2-8. These are our three premier players...if they're only scoring 10 or 11 points a game, we're boned. We've got to shoot better than 35% from the field if we expect to walk out of there with a victory. If Alexander, Butler, Nichols, and Ruoff had just scored another basket each - and we make three-pointers and foul shots - we would have friggin' won and we could coast into DePaul. HOWEVAHHH, we didn't. And now we have to go in there and try not to shit the bed.


So that's it. If we just play fundamentally solid bball (I think our last coach stressed fundamentals, if I remember correctly) we just might win a game on the road. And sweet merciful crap, if it comes down to the other team's last possession, please please please get a hand in the face of their best three-point shooter. The last thing we need is another Ronald Ramon moment to take the wind out of our sails. If only Steve Buckhantz had called that Pitt game...

Big Ed releases stops along the way to 2008 national championship

Good news, ladies and germs...Eddie Pastilong announced WVU's 2008 football slate this morning. Revel in the glory that is the road to the national championship game (gator bowl?):

Sat 8/30: Villanova

Sat 9/6: at East Carolina

Thu 9/18: at Colorado (ESPN)

Sat 9/27: Marshall

Sat 10/4: Rutgers

Sat 10/11: Syracuse (homecoming)

Thu 10/23: Auburn (ESPN)

Sat 11/1: at UConn

Sat 11/8: Cincinatti

Sat 11/22: at Louisville

Fri 11/28: at Pitt (ABC)

Sat 12/6: South Florida (ESPN)

Big Ed Pastilong approves.

But wait just a minute: that Auburn game is on Thursday night, not Saturday. WTF mate? That game has all the makings of an awesome out-of-conference hatefest, complete with flying D-cells and Old Crow whiskey bottles. Mark Schlabach has Auburn ranked at #16 in his preseason rankings, and numerous other pundits have us ranked in the top 10...So why not throw us a bone here? We haven't had a Saturday night national showcase since Pitt in 2003.

But it's not just the networks' fault, I'm sure - WVU has been wary to schedule a Saturday night game at home for the past five years. Thursday, sure...Kids have class the next day. Saturday? Ehhhh. Not sure how many students are getting up to go to the early service after a full day and night of doing kegstands and whippets on Grant Avenue.

But hey - if the administration does finally agree to schedule some Saturday night games, maybe there's hope for the rest of the dwindling WVU party scene. What's next? The return of Milk Fest? Sunnyside block parties? A Fallfest that doesn't completely fuckin' blow? For the sake of the children, let's hope so.

Um...I thought the goal was to put the ball through the hoop?

I'm friggin' dumbfounded. WVU basketball just began the most crucial stretch of games they've played all season, and last night at Villanova they found the worst possible way to mung it up. Maybe it was shooting 36% from the floor. Maybe it was going 2-20 from behind the arc (editor's note: bypass Reggie Miller's nomenclature). Maybe it was the total of 8 assists the team had all night. Whatever the case, WVU's tournament status is now in complete jeopardy thanks to a 78-56 loss at the Pavilion on Wednesday.

I know, I know. We've still got five regular season games left plus the league tournament (god willing) to prove ourselves...but honestly, who the F knows what's going to happen at this point. We've got to play at a surging UConn, plus we've got Pitt at home - and after the display we put on last night, DePaul, St. Johns, and Providence can't exactly be labeled automatic wins.

Here's hoping Huggy can rectify this situation before malaise sets in. Maybe he'll be able to do it without that horrific WV pullover or that blindingly hideous gold suit.

For those with strong faculties, here's the ESPN recap.

When Keepin' it Real Goes Wrong: Devine/Sanders Edition

According to this article from the Dominion Post (a true bastion of American journalism), a fracas that occurred outside Club Z on Saturday night involved six WVU football players - including freshmen standouts Noel Devine and Jock Sanders. Investigators are currently reviewing surveillance tape from the club, and more details should be available soon. One thing's for sure: if the BBall team hadn't had a game the next day, you can bet Cam Thoroughman would have swooped in from Chasers and put a stop to this nonsense.

Cam Thoroughman: Real American Hero

Of course, this marks the most prominent altercation at Club Z since March 2004: one nameless freshman managed to not only vomit in the trashcan two feet away from a bouncer, but also ask that bouncer between heaves if he had any cocaine. The student luckily was not escorted out of the club, but did have to remain under the close supervision of his friends for the rest of the night - one of which who contracted a venereal disease later in the evening from a still-unidentified female.

Roger Clemens and/or Brian McNamee may or may not have been at Envy on Friday

That traffic in downtown Morgantown on Friday? No, it wasn't Yonder Mountain String Band at the Met. It was apparently a drug bust at the hippest of hip Morgantown clubs, Envy. Pretty much the same thing if you ask me - a bunch of hippies being brought down by the man.

Agents from the FBI and the Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agency made a seizure and bust Friday evening at a Morgantown nightclub.

It happened around 6:00 pm at Club Envy on Chestnut Street. Authorities swarmed around the building, even going on the roof for enforcement. Authorities aren't releasing right now why they busted the club in the first place, but did say it was an investigation a year in the making.

Nine people were arrested for possible drug and weapon charges. Several cars were also seized during the raid. (WDTV 5).

Former Assistant Coach Jerry Dunn tells you kids - "Take shots from the baseline, not lines of base."

(Note: I used the Office of National Drug Control Policy for a list of street terms for cocaine. Coach Jerry Dunn we assume is lot more street savvy than we are.)

...But I do have good news: I just saved a bunch of money by switching head coaches

WVU released the base salaries for its new football coaching staff today. The long and short of it is this: in spite of dramatically increasing the payroll for assistant coaches (Doc Holliday, for one, comes in at $400,000) we're still $300,000 under last year's total allotment. Hopefully this saved money can be put towards bolstering our athletic department's marketing program...but let's not go nuts just yet. Baby steps, people.

So easy, a caveman can do it.

Of course, the biggest reason that we're saving so much in spite of pay raises on all fronts is the hiring of coach Stew. Stew got a tremendous raise this year (from $139 to $800k), but his wage still comes in at less than half of what we were paying Rodriguez. Here's to hoping Stew will spend a little of that newfound coin on some Crest Whitestrips (I kid, I kid. Love ya, coach Stew)

Here's the full article with details from the Charleston Daily Mail.

Popping a Live Cap In Yo Ass - vs. Seton Hall 2/17/08

3:58 - Winner-winner, chicken dinner 89-68. My game ball goes to Josh Sowards.

3:35 - Career high for Jarrett Brown, second 3 of the game. Two 3 pointers would've been enough to beat Pittsburgh in December. Sigh.

3:33 - Maybe Coach Rod was right, the athletic department hasn't gotten around to even getting Jarrett Brown a name plate for his jersey. Ain't a thang though, 3 is good.

3:27 - Alright, I don't got much left in the tank to watch this game and blog at the same time.

3:26 - TEDDY TALKINGTON TO THE BUCKETTTTTT. In yo face.

3:22 - Smalligan SEND IT HOME BIG MAN.

3:19 - For those wondering, Joe Dirt will not be playing on Comedy Central. Still has a better consecutive streak than Darris Nichols.

3:12 -  I realized I didn't really post the score enough. We're up 51-32 and I'm bored. Wish we played Jersey teams more often.

3:01 - Well apparently the black turtle necks are for our assistant coach Billy Hahn who cut off his tie and has been wearing black turtlenecks since. Shows what I know. Still prefer Jerry Dunn. No offense Mr. Hahn, I just can't turn on my back on Jerry.

2:58 - Apparently Ohio State/Michigan is a big rivalry. Michigan hasn't won 3 straight conference games since 2006. Instant dividends hiring all our old ball coaches. 8-17, baby.

2:54 - Nice, halftime. 45-30, personally I'd rather just watch Beilein.

2:53 - Still commercials on Sportsnet New York. Now they're just playing Manhattan Basketball Weekly. Leave it to the station owned by the New York Mets to suck the life out of a Sunday afternoon.

2:49 - Maybe I missed something, but these commercials have been going on for like 20 fuckin minutes. A recycling commercials on now, I hope they used recycled film to film that propagandish bullshit. (Note: I did recycle during my tenure in Morgantown. Think saving the environment would've gotten me laid more. Or at all.)

2:47 - Beilein Ball is even better in high-definition.

2:45 - I'll hand it to Michigan, I like their color scheme.

2:43 - Ted Talkington 3 pointer, more emotion.

2:41 - Besides the pooch punt by the quarterback in football, the letting the ball roll on an inbounds so the clock won't run is probably one of my favorite plays in sports.

2:39 - Teddy Talk is put into the lineup for instant emotion. PRESTO! Butler bucket, WVU on a 2-0 run.

2:37 - They're gonna explain why the Maniacs are dressed in black in a few minutes. CAN'T WAIT!

2:32 - John Flowers two hook shots in a row. They sorta looked like baby hooks.

2:30 - Get it? Nutter Butter LOLz.

2:29 - Nutter just Buttered Ruoff.

2:27 - Michigan's beating Ohio State. That Michigan coach knows how to win the big games. Like against Harvard.

2:22 - Apparently it's Darris Nichols 129th CONSECUTIVE game. In case you were trying to impress some broads with this little tidbit, here is the real information. Some girl already called me out for lying.

2:20 - Hard foul on Larry Davis on his way to the bucket. I personally would've slammed that bitch home.

2:18 - Two free throws made, world rejoices.

2:17 - Notre Dame really took it to Rutgers today, watch out world.

2:12 - Can't give Joe Alexander an open look like that. Put a toetag on this puppy, we've got this wrapped up, 10-5.

2:10 - My friend asked if I joined a dating website yet. Sadly, the answer is no I'd rather watch Huggy Ball by myself.

2:08 - Think Huggy beat up somebody's grandmother for that pullover coat?

2:07 - Jamie travels, playful banter by the commentators. Len Elmore would've provided more insight.

2:06 - Same exact start as last game, this time Jamie Smalligan delivers bad beat.

2:05 - Darris Nichols plays his 129th game, most all-time in WVU history. Somewhere Joe Herber sheds a tear.

2:01 - Guess the crowd is wearing black turtle necks. I didn't get the memo. Didn't know it was Used Car Salesman/Mike Brey appreciation day.

1:59 - Almost game time, hopefully Len Elmore does our game, he's awesome. Less insight than what is provided by Reggie Miller.

1:58 - Being that this site is like 3 days old and we've probably had no visitors I figure I'd attempt to live cap today's game for the masses. I'm sure this is gonna stink and this doesn't reflect the overall quality of this fine website.

And in news that falls under the "Who Really Gives a &$#^@" category...

The Washington Nationals' 2008 season is officially underway. Pitchers and Catchers reported this morning.

Let's go shoot some birds...I'm psyched.

And we're back, better than ever...

Welcome to the all-new findingkevinpittsnogle.com: a [mediocre at best] sports blog dedicated to all things West Virginia University. Hopefully you'll find some shred of entertainment value here - but if not, well...I hope the comments you leave are at least as funny as the ones on Stephen A. Smith's blog.


HOW-EVAHHH....


I had planned on writing a dramatic first post to herald the renovation of this humble site, but I stumbled across a really poignant piece on wemustignitethiscouch.com about WVU's newest favorite son (and Fairfax, VA native) Owen Schmitt today that really warrants being shared in its stead. Introductions and other formalities can wait until my boss leaves for the day...or whenever I actually feel like writing something.


To put the column that comes up after the jump into perspective, I've seen photographic evidence of of Schmitt eating a cardboard coaster in under 15 seconds at Mario's Fishbowl. The guy is an animal.




Good on ya, Owen.


Anyway, here's the article. Hope it pulls on your heartstrings as much as it did mine.


Owen Schmitt and West Virginia: The Rise of a Legend


Big gulps, huh? ...Welp, seeya later.