
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
WVU/Arizona: a truly halfassed preview
But we have to prove it. We've got to win tonight against Arizona in DC before we go anywhere. How can we do this? Why, I'll tell you.
Keep the defense tough, especially in transition. Arizona loooooooves scoring points on the move, and we've got to keep up with them to stop that. If we can slow the game down to a tolerable pace - a la the Beilein years - we should have enough gas to keep up with them for 40 minutes. Nasty freshman guard Jerryd Bayless is quick and can slash, so we've got to put a body on him that can hang. Huggs is sticking Alex Ruoff in there for the task - I think he'll be able to keep up.
Grab those rebounds. Arizona doesn't have a true center - the closest thing they've got is ex-volleyball player and noted albino Chase Budinger. He's only 6-7 (an inch shorter than Joe Alexander), but he's got a ridiculous 40+ inch vertical. If we're hungry in the paint, we can hang with them. Smalligan: lookin' at you here.
Calm down. If we come in there nervous and not ready to play, we don't stand a shot. Huggins said it best in ESPN's preview of tonight's game:
I can't figure them out," [Huggins] said. "There's been days I thought we were really ready to play and we came out and didn't play. And there's been other days I didn't think we had a chance and we played really, really hard.
"We rely on making jump shots. And when you rely almost solely offensively on jump shots, you better make them," Huggins said. "When we don't make jump shots, we're not very good."
So that's it. If we do all of these things - plus make our free throws - we'll be super. I mean this team lost to UVa, for christ sake. They're definitely a beatable foe.
I'll be at the Verizon Center tonight - with zero press access, of course - but I'll take plenty of pictures and some epic notes for a game review tomorrow.
Fearless prediction: WVU wins in a squeaker - and that's with three e's - 65-64. This will be one of the best games of the tournament.
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO MOUNTAINEERS!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Ways To Beat WVU In The Tournament
Out Awful Us.
So, there you go 'Zona. If you want it, come and get it. Because I know our shitty is shittier than your shitty.
Your FKP update, or How Coop Spent his Week-long Bender
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Big East Tournament - WVU vs. Providence
This is our third meeting with Providence this year, and of course the pundits are all over this fact. "It's so difficult to beat a team three times in a year blahblahblah I'm still mad about getting kicked out of Notre Dame for stealing my roommate's credit cards blahblahblah." Well, kids, I disagree. While we made our first meeting much closer than it needed to be, we're just plain better than Providence (exception: Wyenimi Efejuku, who is ten shades of nasty). If you can beat an inferior team twice, you can beat them three times. 'Nuff said.
Of course, a WVU victory really hinges on our ability not to self-destruct. If we take care of the ball, play solid Huggy defense, and shoot well from behind the arc, we ought to be alright. It really depends on whether our team wants to show up, though - if their heart just isn't in it (eg. 1st half of UConn), we can kiss it goodbye.
We should already be in the tournament, but let's not go nuts just yet. We all remember how last year turned out: 22 wins and we were still left out of the big dance. Let's just hope we have a great showing this afternoon to take any semblance of doubt out of the selection committee's minds.
Fearless prediction: WVU 74, Providence 60.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Congrats, Dr. Ted
Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
A truly halfassed St. John's preview
Monday, March 3, 2008
Poppin a live cap in yo' ass: Pitt 3/3
9:04 - A classy chant in the WVU Coliseum? No way. "Thank you seniors" echoes from the rafters.
9:02 - The "Eat Shit Pitt" chants start. Score update: 76-60 WVU, 1:30 left.
8:58 - Talkington looks great in his Nike Elite jersey. Really snug, really form-fitting. Really. /sarcasm

8:56 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...PLEASE WELCOME INTO THE GAME...DOCTORRRRR TEDDDDDDDDDD TALKINGTONNNNNNNNN. Instant emotion.
8:54 - Haaaaa I'm so glad they brought back the Ortiz/Urlacher badminton commercial for Vitamin Water. That's great stuff.
8:51 - We're chanting something again: sounds like "we want [something]"
8:50 - Crazy globetrotter-esque passaround which leads to a Nichols 3-pointer. Not now, chief...we're in the fuckin' zone.
8:48 - OH GOD. Ridiculous block by Alexander, followed by a ridiculous 15-footer at the other side of the court. He's now shooting 67%.
8:46 - Jay Bilas: "What, have there been 100 fouls in this game?" Later he checks the running box score and realizes there are 39. Still, pretty ridiculous.
8:45 - Sam Young has fouled out. Things are looking up for the mountaineers.
8:41 - Score update. 65-46 WVU. NICE block by Flowers. He's gonna be a ridiculous player next year. Between him, Alexander, and the recruits Huggs brings in, we're going to have a nice fuckin team.
8:40 - Still no sign of Dr. Teddy Talkington. He's jumping the Huggy boat to go to med school next year...I guess ya gotta have priorities.
8:36 - Ruoff's 3rd 3-pointer of the game. TIMEOUT JAMIE DIXON.
8:33 - IT'S MY MONEY, AND I WANT IT NOW!
8:30 - Alexander is just dominating. 9-14 from the floor, 24 points.
8:28 - Pitt is starting to dominate inside. Alexander manages to get in and score, plus gets a foul. Makes the free throw, 58 - 41.
8:25 - Score update. 51 - 37 WVU.
8:19 - Smalligan out, sir Wellington in, leading to a killer 3 by Joe Alexander.
8:18 - 7-0 WVU run to start the half. I apologize, Jamie. Great looks, great assist.
8:13 - SEND IT IN, JOE. Alexander just flyin over peeps - misses the dunk, but gets fouled.
8:11 - Smalligan back in the game. Look for a 10 - 0 Pitt run soon.
8:03 - Have to interrupt the halftime break to talk about the new UPS commercial. Somehow they made that dude at the whiteboard look even more like a pedophile, and I have no idea what kind of studio magic made that happen. Commercial gets an 8.5/10 for use of animation.
7:54 - Certainly none of the first-half problems that were present in the UConn game. We're shooting great, making free throws, and grabbing key rebounds. Maybe it's because Jamie Smalligan has played a total of 3 minutes. 40 - 30 at the half.
7:53 - Scrappin in the paint. Sam Young fouls Alexander, who really went up there for that rebound.
7:51 - Great timeout, Huggy...Ruoff rebound and basket makes it 38-28 WVU.
7:50 - Now Butler's making some noise. Huge defensive rebound followed by Huggs timeout.
7:48 - Mazzulla out, Ruoff in. Butler, who's having a really quiet game, is fouled. Makes both free throws - and I'm pretty sure that's the first time that's happened this year.
7:47 - Nichols with a 3. Noish.
7:46 - Nichols with a crucial fake and 17-footer. We're hangin in there...
7:45 - Oh man, the new mountaineer looks AWESOME. They got a great dude to replace Brady.
7:42 - Crucial backdoor cut from Alexander to Flowers. Foul on Pitt in transition. Looks like some momentum might be building here...
7:40 - Gonna miss Brady as the Mountaineer. He was a great one, and significantly better than "Patches" of a couple years back. That guy sucked.
7:38 - Ruoff with his second 3: great ball fake to create an open look. Let's get a few more of those.
7:37 - I've always said Tim Higgins is a real asshole. He managed to not fuck up that double dribble call, though.
7:36: Cam Thoroughman leaves the game with what appears to be a hurt knee, thus eliminating any chance of victory in this game. Shit.
7:35 - AMERICAN HERO CAM THOROUGHMAN off the bench with instant awesomeness: huge rebounds and smart looks. Keep that janks goin.
7: 33 - Raftery seemingly fell asleep in the middle of saying the word "rebound." Pitt's already over the limit for fouls - double bonus for the next 7:13. Gotta get those bodies in the paint.
7:29 - Jamie Dixon is just as big an asshole as he was when I was at these games - even though he has significantly less hair. Stay off the court, jerkoff. Maybe that's what killed your sister.
7:27 - Significant lull in the action. Smalligan in off the bench for some experience/loafing. Flowers with some foul shots. WVU 21 - 18.
7:23 - Ruoff...AND 1. Raftery gives the replay "a little kisssss." Ramon to the bench. Let's see what we can do here - we switched to 1-3-1 defense, AKA "the Beilein."
7:22 - Flowers should be a starter, forserious. Every time he comes in off the bench it's instant momentum. Plus, he's the only one on the frickin team that can rebound.
7:20 - In other news, Pete Maravich is only #5 on the 25 best college hoops players of all time. Hopefully Lew Alcindor is #1, just for his role in Airplane!
7:17 - Huggs is bringing Flowers off the bench for instant emotion. John Flowers, not the awful ones he's wearing in his lapel pin.
7:15 - I thought the crowd was chanting something potentially devastating to our school's reputation, but thank god they're not. The chant is "Taser...Taser...Taser" at LaVance Fields. Feel free to join in at home.
7:15 - Spoke too soon.
7:14 - Ruoff looks on tonight - let's hope he keeps it up.
7:14 - Huge collision between Gilbert Brown and Sam Young. Dagger.
7:12 - God dammit, I fuckin hate Pitt. Sam Young layup.
7:09 - I think the hidden humor in these awful Bud Light commercials is in the opening line: there's something about "superior drinkability" that really revvs my engine.
7:08 - The flower Huggins is wearing on his lapel looks frickin retarded. At least Alexander's on the board with a field goal. And a steal. Foul on Pitt in transition - Alexander gets 2 shots.
7:08 - Nichols 3. LOVES ITTTTT.
7:06 - Scrappin. Everbody wants it tonight - diving for loose balls, goin nuts. Great to see some emotion tonight.
7:06 - First foul on Smalligan. Hopefully he gets some feet at some point tonight.
7:06 - Alexander...gotta finish. Missed an easy 10-footer.
7:06 - First 2 points of the game by Nichols. EMOSH.
7:05 - We look nervous as hell. Even Bilas says both teams are sloppy.
7:03 - White unis tonight...lookin good. Alexander with a Zack Randolph-esque miscue, dives for it, recovers.
7:02 - But he is in rare form. Won the tip...noish. JAMIE DIVING FOR A LOOSE BALL...lookin good.
7:01 - Bill Raftery isn't drunk yet...and it's damn well 7 pm. Looks to be a good game.
Hey guys...On time for once tonight! Three words: eat shit Pitt. Let's go.
Finding Kevin Pittsnogle - Bonjour!

Yea, we know this picture is hella dated, but Snogle and Son are doing great. Even though we can't speak French, we here at FKP want to let you know we let the funky music do the talking, talking now. Here's some of Britain's famed pop group Girls Aloud for no particular reason but to show how questionably heterosexual Victor Pulak is.
Wear Gold, Lose Street Cred
What's that? We have a game tonight? You don't say.
GET TO DA CHOPPAAAA!
Anyway, this is probably the hugest game we've played since Tennessee in November. Here are three things that we absolutely have to do to beat those a-hole yinzers from up I-79 and secure a legit shot at a tournament bid.
1. Take care of the ball.
For the love of Pete, look where you're passing. We can't afford to make the same mental mistakes we made in the first half of the UConn game. Turnovers and shitty rebounding put us in a huge hole in the first 20 minutes of Saturday's game, and it was a friggin' miracle Flowers and Alexander bailed us out of that as well as they did.
2. Defense, Defense, Defense.
Box out. Protect the paint. Grab those rebounds. GUARD RONALD RAMON OUTSIDE. Interior presence is definitely not our strong suit, but hopefully we come into this game inspired. If Smalligan can just pretend to be athletic tonight and grab 7 boards (as, we might have a shot. Pitt's teams are always so big and bulky, it's almost impossible to win on the inside - in the recent past we've outfinessed them with quality shooting and passing, but with this team's skillset and penchant for inconsistency that might be too much to ask.
3. Get to the line and make those free throws.
Self-explanatory. We're looking better and better at the stripe each game, but we really need a boost from Butler and Ruoff. They're both at the line quite a bit, but neither of them seem to be able to make those key foul shots. If we make 75% of our free throws, we've got a great chance to win.
The real X-factor here lies in our seniors. If Smalligan plays like a legit center and Nichols has the game he's capable of (see 2007 NIT championship), we'll score enough points, defend the bucket well, and take over the game. Let's hope we get some emotion from the boys tonight - hopefully the last home game of the year will give em enough spark to make things happen.
Prediction: WVU 64, Pitt 60. Let's go dancin', baby.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Poppin' a live cap in yo' ass: UConn 3/1
2:00 - That'll do it. If we hadn't shat the bed in the first half, we probably could have pulled this off. Shooting 35% in the first 20 minutes can do that.
1:57 - I think that's it...41 seconds left, Thabeet's shooting 2. Makes 1.
1:55 - Foul on Ruoff. 2 shots, only 1 made. Alexander with the rebound and 2 more points in transition. WVU foul, Austrie makes 1.
1:54 - 74-67 with 1:33 left. Gotta pick it up here.
1:52 - We're blowing it again...Bright spot though - WVU steal, UConn foul. Alexander shoots 2.
1:50 - 3:10 left. Alexander makes both free throws...Need some defensive emotion now.
1:48 - Whoaaaaa. You can't start with all that cheese in a stuffed crust pizza. You gotta build your way up. Second slice - straight for the cheese.
1:47 - UConn 3. Fuck. UConn foul in transition, Alexander will shoot 2.
1:44 - Flowers with the rebound and fast break - the layup is swatted away but it's a GOALLLLLTENDDDD. 2 more for WVU and Flowers. Timeout UConn. We're 54% from the field in the 2nd half so far. WVU 26-12 run. 66-63 UConn.
1:43 - Alexander with another layup for 26 points. He and Flowers are pwning this game.
1:42 - Nichols steal, pass to Flowers, easy layup. +2.
1:41 - could have been an awesome Huggyball alley-oop. Messed up though. Flowers with another defensive rebound, passes to Alexander for 3 more. 64-57, 7-0 WVU run.
1:37 - Switched to 2-3 zone. WVU rebound, Flowers recovery. Adrian picks up the foul for UConn - apparently you can't bearhug people on the other team in basketball.
1:35 - Flowers 3-pointer. I likeeeee. 64-53 UConn. NICE defense and steal...Flowers gets it again and takes it downcourt for 2 more.
1:33 - Looks like we switched to triangle-and-two defense: Alexander with a steal and a hella wicked dunk for 2 more dub-v points.
1:31 - Man we're unathletic. At least Ruoff drained a 3 for some instant emotion.
1:30 - Ruoff misses both free throws. EPIC FAIL. 3-pointer for UConn in transition.
1:27 - Ruoff takes it to the houseeeeee but misses. UConn foul - TV timeout. 57-43.
1:25 - Emosh block by Flowers, who just came in off the bench. Check Plus.
1:23 - WVU rebound, 2 transition points! 2-0 WVU run.
1:22 - UConn foul: Smith makes 1/2 free throws..
1:21 - And 1. 54-39 UConn.
1:17 - WVU rebound! Hopefully it was captured on tape. Unfortunately the resulting shot was blocked by Thabeet and taken back down the court for a basket and WVU foul.
1:13 - Nice slashing by Darris Nichols. 49-37 UConn...don't want to jinx anything, but - comeback?
1:11 - Smalligan airball. Emosh, but not surprising. He's 20% from behind the arc this year. And he just got another foul for being slow and unathletic - that's his 4th.
1:11 - Great block and rebound by Alexander. It's crazy to see tinges of athleticism on this team.
1:09 - An audible "OH SHIT" makes it onto the broadcast. My guess is it was Johnnie West stubbing his toe on the bench.
1:08 - Another UConn 3. All of a sudden it's 48-31.
1:07 - 15 seconds into the 2nd half, UConn 3-pointer. Great start.
12: 49 - Halftime. 42-29 UConn. Eh, it could definitely be worse.
12:48 - Man, I miss making fun of Charlie Villanueva's complete and utter lack of hair.
12:48 - Scrappinnnnn. Mazulla comes up with the ball underneath the pile - that's hustle.
12:47 - Baseline violation that's called traveling by the commentators. What is this, ameteur hour?
12:46 - Small feature on Calhoun's accomplishments. What they fail to mention is that it takes him a solid 15 minutes to pee.
12:45 - Sirrrrrr Wellington...Lookin good, bud.
12:44 - Another missed field goal and rebound attempt for WVU. This game is starting to take on shades of Villanova.
12:42 - Requesite shot of kid eating cotton candy with "Sweet Caroline" playing in the background. New England is a super place.
12:40 - Emosh Butler fast break. First points in transition for WVU: noish. TV timeout, 37-23 UConn.
12:39 - UConn 3. 37-21. It's starting to look bad. Another missed WVU rebound: starting to look really bad.
12:38 - Missed Smalligan 3-pointer. Dagger. RIDIC block by Wellington Smith makes up for it. Thought D'Or fisher was back for a second there.
12:36 - UConn basket, 11-2 run. Timeout Huggs. DAGGERRRRRR. PS: UConn's pep band is awful.
12:35 - Missed mountaineer rebound. Results in a UConn 3-pointer. 32-21 UConn.
12:34 - Missed mountaineer rebound. Results in a UConn foul down the court - at least no points were involved.
12:31 - Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. Alexander appears fatigued; he just totally tanked grabbing a loose ball. UConn foul - TV timeout.
12:30 - BOX OUT. JESUS CHRIST. 29-19 Uconn.
12:28 - Embarrassing turnover, our 4th of the game. Also, Robinson just drained what should have been a 3 with 7-foot Smalligan all up in his grill. Athleticism: I has it.
12: 26 - Comment by the color guy on how terrible we are on the inside. Great insight, genius.
12:25 - "It's like he's got a turbo pack on his back." - MASN guy on Stanley Robinson. All up in the face of Wellington Smith. It;s starting to get ridiculous here.
12:23 - Butler free throws. Makes both of em - at least somebody on the team can. Woooo.
12:21 - 10-0 Uconn run. Dagger. All of a sudden it's 21-15. TV timeout.
12:20 - These MASN commentators are real assheads. Mountaineer turnover.
12:18 - SEND IT IN, JOE. Emosh Alexander dunk, 15-all.
12: 17 - Smalligan brick. FAIL.
12:17 - Ruoff with a 3 - 6 points yaaaaaaaa. If he keeps doing that, we've got a chance. 13-all.
12:16 - Smalligan takes a Thabeet elbow to the domepiece. Luckily, he does appear to have lost any more hair.
12:16 - God dammit Huggs...Enough of that ridiculous pullover. You look like a bum. I guess it's better than that gold suit, though - I hear you have to poke a hole in a shoebox to look at him when he wears that thing.
12:15 - apparently Huggy and Prostate Calhoun both have 22 20-win seasons each. Noish.
Technical difficulties seem to be plaguing FKP lately - the time is now 12:14 and I just got to a functional computer. Let's get to it.

